Winter Landscape

winter-landscape-2

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18 thoughts on “Winter Landscape

  1. All very evocative, though I think the last one has a classic haiku feel. The middle one is really delightful but requires specific external information to bring out its real resonance. The first, a lovely image, but word order a bit clunky, maybe?

  2. (in the order of verse not comment)
    The first; there is a definite possibility. The second; if the poem is successful it might create just enough interest to look beyond, which takes the experience a step further and opens another door beyond my words. I was aware and hope for this. The third: ah, the classic haikuist… I believe may not appreciate my work at the best of times. Simon, I really appreciate these comments. Thank you.

    5-7-5 gives me structure or at least a starting point. Haiku has been a major influence in my writing as is nature. When I use this syllabic format in verse I at least try for each unit to be a stand alone visual. I am often torn whether or not to tag or categorize “haiku”. Did you notice this was originally published as Three Haiku – I changed that immediately after it was posted.

  3. Amazing how contemporary is Bruegel’s style after all these hundreds of years. —CC
    P.S. Agree with Simon re Verse 1 – perhaps “Through open window, snowflakes fall … .” Peace.

      • And tomorrow’s version will undoubtedly be even better. 🙂 I applaud your initial receptiveness to Simon. A while back I attempted to go here with followers and followed – mutual critique – but found less than a resounding willingness to pursue the art, rather than the “like.”

      • A while back you also tried to start a conversation about changing posts after they had been liked or commented on. It was very thought-provoking and I wanted to comment and then forgot. I am often editing after posting, though I don’t think the changes are ever dramatic. Most I assume would go unnoticed. Thanks again for your comments on this one… you know… the one that helped inspire the changes 🙂

      • You are welcome re the comments. On the topic of post-like changes, consider: should your most recent post that I liked suddenly go dark and sinister due to your revisioning, I am left memorialized there as having liked it, potentially contrary to what my actual values might be. I’ve read where this has become an issue up on sites like FaceBook – a sort of bait and switch to gain millions of hits – starts with puppies and changes on the back-end without likers knowledge or consent into something extremely less innocent. Apologies if – like a daylong burning tapir – I have waxed too long. 🙂 —CC

  4. your use of the long “o” sound in the first haiku helps provide the atmosphere. the second one with its reference to a famous painting hints at a narrative. how did the persona die? what happened to the rest of that group who were heading down into the village? and the last presents a terrifying image of something familiar that has suddenly become strange. obviously these poems engaged me.

    • Thanks Michael. I’m glad you enjoyed this and always appreciated your views on the work. This was whittled out of a piece I wrote on January 8, 2011. The recent haiku “November 1, 2016” came from the same 2011 piece. Quite dramatic changes in style. This portion was directly from a dream. The haiku… from something I do. Thanks again.

    • My wife is from Northern Germany… for some reason that means that regardless of the temperature (Canadian winters and all) the bedroom window is always at least a crack open. Fresh air. Occasionally, very fresh. 🙂

  5. I liked the darkening atmosphere; the way your poem settled in my mind. It felt as if I were traveling through the last remnants of a dying persons thoughts. Pieces here and there. The first shiver of cold as the snow drifted on the floor and then the finality of the snow erasing the trail back home. No going back as death has blocked that path. Moving and mesmerizing. Excellent.

  6. This is so compelling — for me, it calls up thoughts of Winter’s approach in its apparent aspect of death, when dark and quiet transform the landscape; the indrawn breath, held long, till exhaled in resurgence of life. 🙂

    • Thanks Carrie. I’m glad this resonated with you and really appreciate your interpretation. It’s very entangled in the retelling of a powerful dream. Myself as a ghost moving through winter landscape. There was nothing disturbing about the dream at all, quite the contrary. Much is lost in the poem, but this is my second retelling and I trust not the last.

      Speaking of winter, today it’s a windy -17 celsius here with a windchill of -30 (-22 fahrenheit).

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