I got up early this morning and went to a business breakfast. It was dark and there was frost on the windshield. I was underdressed and couldn’t get heat into the car fast enough. I knew the guest speaker and though he didn’t need it, went in part to support him in a new role. It’s also good for me to get out to these things. I guess. There were a lot of people I hadn’t seen for a long time but the seating didn’t offer much chance for conversation so we just exchanged smiles and polite waves. The presentation ended, a back door opened and I left.
A couple of nights ago I dreamed that I fell from the top of a building onto a vast public wharf. The kind where large vessels like cargo or cruise ships land. I fell near the edge of a small crowd who had gathered as witnesses. I died when I hit the concrete, then slowly got up, surprised by the fact.
It was like I had just tripped and fallen down, picked myself up and adjusted my tie. But I was dead. This was acknowledged by the dispersing crowd who could no longer see me but knew what they knew. Nothing seemed to change, except I became invisible. And felt a mission and vague awareness of a power that could only be compared to an undertow. After a time I saw another fellow get up from the edge of a small dispersing crowd. We looked at one another knowing there was work to do. I wondered if he knew what it might be.